Gabe and I met the Assassin group as they were heading into the Bedlam building, told them Red and I were Harolds and gave them the city rule app, told them they could stay at the Bedlam place but all the vamps make them a bit jumpy—which I totally get, so offered up Lydia’s services in helping to get their place up to bar. Also got David to buy the real estate they wanted for their new building. Made sure to tell them about Isahia…granted Red and I botched that whole situation fucking royally but maybe we can somehow make it up to him…what’s the protocol for “hey sorry we basically got you killed”… roses? fuck. Honestly, sometimes I wonder why the fuck Noah picked us. I get that we were genetic matches, but seriously….sometimes I think he must believe he made a mistake with us.
Red and I teleported to New York to finally chat with the NYC Prince. As was the last time, really enjoyed their company, pretty glad we’re…what? political friends? what’s the term…I’m pretty damn sure that the NYC Prince doesn’t actually consider us “friends” so I don’t want to offend him somehow and accidently say that to him it would ruin shit. I just don’t 100% get vamp politics yet…I seem to have no problem with Were politics or hell even the Gangrels I can figure out…but Ventrues and Daevas and the like…yeah, I feel outta water when I deal with them. Thankfully though the Mage suit actually makes me feel less like a fuck up with I handle that type of shit. Kinda strange. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like that each suit kinda has its specialty…I wouldn’t want 7 of the same dress in my closet right (not that I actually own 7 dresses), but you get what I mean. But the whole Mage suit…I don’t know, I expected it to feel a lot more weird, a lot more out of body that I thought it would. Maybe Conor was right on all this, maybe we are meant to be this.
After getting back from NYC I called David to get him on board for handling the Assassins’ new real estate, snagging up an airfield (since we invited the NYC Prince to the Colosseum opening) and to ask how the club was coming for the party. Sounds like we’re almost ready which is good…although he mentioned that Braden has been “integral” in helping get things around…goddammit……makes me wonder if I should expect something to fuck up the opening night, I know I’m supposed to keep an open mind about the whole turn Ben into a diablarist thing…but seriously, I don’t know…when you sleep with a guy…I just kinda thought even if it didn’t go anywhere relationship wise that we’d at least be friends out of it. Guess that was pretty naive on my part, but he seemed kinda above petty shit….and now I just don’t trust him. He hasn’t spoken to me or looked me up since that night in the club. Guess he got what he wanted and then he was done. Not gonna lie, kinda stings.
After our chat with David, Red and I let out Quincy…who was weird and “need to go” so we followed him, he found his way to Shadow who had fed on him and then left…not much we can do since he’s bound to Shadow. I’d be pretty pissed if someone messed with Alaric so I get it. We head inside to chat with Shadow—we haven’t seen him in awhile and it good for us to keep him reminded of us, somehow I feel like that means he’s less likely to murder the northern hemisphere. Conor was there, with some girl, and he was hurt. Shadow healed him and then just took off.
I can see that he’s healed so my worry is sated there, so I can’t help myself when I blurt out “are you with her!?”…usually I can stop that shit, but not with Conor, with him it just bubbles up and out…not sure why, but I just know I my filter is fucking broken around him. As soon as he has that corner mouth smirk at my question I know they aren’t together. Turns out he made Eve, turns out she’s the reason in the future we stop talking or seeing each other or whatever. Conor said I was against creating supers and because of some rule Shadow has for Conor, creating supers is like the only way he can….procreate or have kids or whatever. Red and Eve head to the kitchen to give Conor and I some privacy.
I tell Conor I’m still against making supers, I think it’s a shit awful idea, but I care about him and I’m not gonna just turn my back on him because of something he does that I think is stupid. Guess I was a bitch in the future if that’s what I did. Regardless of how stupid of an idea I think it is, doesn’t mean I don’t care for Conor. He seems to get that. With everything that’s gone on I know I need to give him the letter…make sure if something does happen he knows. I realize things are different with him, different with us, but he’s still Conor…even if he’s changed, even if he’s different…underneath all that it’s still him and he has a right to know that I fucked things up, that it wasn’t him, that he was great. Especially now that future bitch me fucks things up with him…now more than ever he needs to know in case something happens and I never get to tell him. So I give him the letter. And almost instantly I’m fucking regretting it. He has a little intake of breath at the end part and I can just feel him recoil from it. I guess at least now I know, no wondering, whatever he felt for me I somehow ruined. Can’t say I don’t deserve it. Leaving the way I did….I was fucked up, things were fucked up, I wasn’t ok. But to take it out on such a good guy. Goddammit, it’s my fault there’s this fucking wedge there. Conor asked me about Trystan and I wasn’t going to lie, I told him Trystan and I were together, I couldn’t not be with him and I realized that made me a hypocritical bitch, but that I couldn’t just turn off that I cared about him. Told him I care about them both and I’m sorry if that’s unfair, it just is what it is. Conor said he didn’t think this was going to work…he slid a box on the table, with a ring it, said he’d gotten it for me before I’d left, but that it didn’t matter now….he said a few other things to, but my brain kinda kicked off after that first part. I couldn’t lie to him, couldn’t lie to Trystan…but didn’t mean hearing that I’d lost him for good wasn’t the most painful thing that’s happened to me, that shit ranks up there with Gabe almost dieing. I blanked on most of the conversation after that and just shut down I guess. I took the ring, maybe that was stupid, but I wanted something tangible to cling to. After a minute or hell could have been 30 min Red and Eve came back in. We were set to leave when Conor stepped to me and kissed me. Was this a goodbye? I wasn’t sure, but I wasn’t going to regret not having at least that one last kiss. Even if he’s changed, even if he’s different…he still tasted like Conor and that one kiss reminded me of all the others. He told me he’s always loved me and I asked if that was enough, he said it had to be and then left. What. The. Fuck. Does. That. Mean. Come on. I just don’t know with him. Never been able to see through him like I do others. He just always saw through me. And now I get to stew on that shit. Wonder if he knows how much this guts me.
Red and I headed to Yaksha and Atticus…turns out Dickponte has Red’s father and we’ve got to see about that before the grand opening. Lydia teleported the 4 of us to some cabin in the woods bullshit that Dickponte had set up…turns out he set it up to blow too…fucking ass. This is Mac’s father we’re talking about here so she did most of the talking and decided on our course of action. Turns out that Dickponte made a mistake, you fucking think buddy! and didn’t realize we were kindred court, he wanted to apologize and offered info on purity or rather fake purity, Red seems content to cut our losses and just wash this under the bridge, gotta say, being in my wold suit on this sure makes it hard not to eat the mutherfucker. So Dickponte isn’t allowed in our city, but we aren’t gonna blood hunt his bitch ass for the shit he pulled. Two things: 1. need to remember to tell NYC Prince he was right about Dickponte and to not shoot himself in the political foot and allow him in his city and 2. if that goddamn mutherfucking piece of shit comes near my guys again…I’ll eat his heart